我与中国

NICOL RHONA ANNE

作为一名来自苏格兰的女性，移居异国他乡本就是一个挑战，更何况是来到万里之外、语言不通的中国。我在中国找到了一份大学英语教师的工作。但在踏上这片土地之前，除了在爱丁堡的中国大使馆，我对中国一无所知。带着泪水、激动与忐忑，我告别父母，走进了爱丁堡机场的安检门。在异国他乡生活，必然会面临许多挑战。

尤其是我，作为一个习惯了寒冷气候的苏格兰人，广州炎热潮湿的气候确实让我不适应。语言的障碍始终存在，我也只能依赖翻译软件，这些挑战让我更加珍惜在这里建立的友谊。在中国生活，我从未想到会在中国结识如此亲密的朋友。在距离家乡1万公里之外的地方，我们外教之间自然而然的就会形成亲密的关系。

校园生活

我喜欢住在学校这个“小社会”里，在这里，很多人一见如故，大家都把你当作大家庭的一份子。学生们很讨人喜欢，他们尽一切努力来了解我，也让我了解了他们。他们热情、温暖、亲切、善良，教他们和与他们互动真的是一件快乐的事。我刚开始教他们的时候，他们很害羞，对我不太信任，因为对他们中的许多人来说，我是他们第一次见到的外国人。看着他们与我相处得越来越融洽，看着我们的关系发展成一种温暖的、可以相互信任和尊重的关系，我感到非常有成就感。最让我高兴的事情莫过于学生觉得他们可以向我倾诉，或者他们知道我想更了解他们，因为这时他们才意识到我是真心关心他们，并希望他们在生活中得到他们想要的一切。他们是了不起的、善良的、有才华的年轻人，我迫不及待地想看到他们的人生会变得多么成功。

我在大学里的同事，无论是国内的还是国外的，都是大家梦寐以求的好同事。我一天中最喜欢的时间就是午餐时间，每个工作日我都会在教师食堂用餐，并享受与中外教师共进午餐的悠闲时光。午餐时间是闲聊的最佳时机，我喜欢和外国语学院的中国老师一起用餐，因为我们在同一个系工作，可以根据教学风格、大学生活和日常生活进行比较。一开始，我们只是用餐时的朋友，但通过交流，我们很快就建立起了真正的友谊，因为在工作之余，我们也会一起到食堂去吃饭。不仅是我的学生们和同事们热情好客，餐馆的老板们也非常友善，他们会记住你的饮食习惯，并知道如何让你感到满足。我的一位中国同事告诉我，有一个餐馆老板发现我不太喜欢吃茄子，于是让我的同事告诉我，他不会再在我最喜欢的菜里加茄子了。并让我的朋友告诉我，他很抱歉不能用英语和我交流。这看似是一件小事，但却体现了他对我的关心。这让我感到宾至如归，有一种家的感觉。许多餐厅的老板都愿意改变菜单，让我满意。在另一家餐厅我甚至不需要费心点菜，只要对她微微一笑，她就能立刻知道我想要什么！

语言和交流是任何一种关系发展的重要方面，但我在这里学到的一点是，人类能够在不懂对方语言的情况下相互交流，甚至建立友好关系。肢体语言、一个微笑、共同的乐趣往往就足以让两个人获得默契，而这本身就是一种愉悦。

我父母的中国之旅

我在自己的家庭中也发现了一个问题，那就是西方人对中国生活的曲解。我母亲就坚决反对我去中国，她认为那里不安全。我刚搬来时，她还不放心，也很难理解我对中国新生活的喜悦之情。带着几分惶恐，她决定春节来探望我。当然，爱上中国很容易。中国是一个奇妙的国家，有奇妙的人民、文化、美食、风景......但是，即使我对中国情有独钟，我也从未想过我的妈妈会爱上这个国家。诚然，我知道她对中国的看法被西方的解释所左右，我也知道来到这里她会了解到中国有多么伟大，并且会喜欢上这里，但我从未想到她的看法会发生如此彻底、绝对和不可逆转的改变。

我非常喜欢我父母的中国之行，尤其是通过他们的眼睛看中国的经历。看到他们的惊奇和着迷，让我有机会用新的视角重新审视中国。第一天，我带着父母去了当地的便利店，晚上我经常在那里消遣。我提前告诉了店主我要带父母来见她。这是他们在中国看到的第一个地方，除了机场和穿过校园去我家放行李，也是他们第一次正式与中国人打交道。我们一进门，店主就热情地拥抱了我妈妈，我可以看到我妈妈的心当时就融化了。我妈妈被她的善意感动了，因为她从未想到人们会如此高兴地迎接她，欢迎她来到中国。我们坐在我常坐的那张桌子上，我在隔壁的餐馆点了晚餐。我妈妈和爸爸对中国的食物感到害怕，觉得在这里吃不好。我理解他们的担心，作为一个素食主义者，要找到自己能吃的食物有时对我来说是个挑战，尽管随着经验和实践的积累，情况已经有所好转。我为我们点了三份辣椒面、蔬菜和鸡蛋，我的父母坐在一旁紧张地等待着。我想我永远也忘不了妈妈把第一口面条放进嘴里时的表情。她的眼睛睁得大大的，一种敬畏和愉悦的神情慢慢从她脸上掠过，很快就伴随着一声愉悦的呻吟。他们俩狼吞虎咽地吃着晚餐，连连赞叹美味可口--虽然我完全同意，而且说实话，我第一次尝试同样的菜肴时也是如此--但回想起他们几个星期来在电话里对我抱怨食物的问题，我不禁有些好笑。

我决心向父母展示我在广州非常喜欢去的地方，让他们了解为什么在这里生活是一种真正的享受。我的使命是让父母真正喜欢上这里。那么，他们假期的真正亮点是什么？是什么让他们兴奋不已，并意识到广州是如此之好？广州塔？北京路？众多美丽寺庙中的一座？不，是花都的一家超市！今天是第三天，由于他们想休息和适应新的时区，所以第二天一直很平静，我们就待在家里，在校园里散步，他们对校园的美景赞叹不已。但到了第三天，我觉得有必要为他们的住宿买些日用品，于是我在花都叫了一辆滴滴。准确地说，不仅仅是超市，还有旁边的购物中心，至少对我爸来说是这样--超市对我妈来说已经足够了！在苏格兰，你永远不会在购物中心里看到卖汽车的商店，而我爸爸则完全被这个看车的机会迷住了。这是他第一次看到中国汽车，他很快就和售货员成了好朋友。当我和妈妈好不容易把我爸从他的新朋友--不知道是销售人员还是汽车--身边拽开时，我把他们带进了超市，我妈妈顿时如入仙境。他们俩都不敢相信超市里琳琅满目的新鲜水果和蔬菜，在苏格兰，我们的大部分水果和蔬菜都是进口的，所以我们的选择往往比这里少得多。我妈妈是一个忠实的蘑菇爱好者，当她看到这里的蘑菇品种繁多时，几乎要陶醉了。

这次经历告诉我，或者至少让我更加坚信，在另一个国家生活或访问，真正有意义的经历很少是大事，而是小事，比如你能买到多少种不同的蘑菇，这些小事真正塑造了我们对新地方的看法。我父母此行的另一个亮点--不是去超市购物，也不是吃一盘面--是我的一位学生邀请我们去她的家乡珠海。我们和她一起度过了一天，她向我们展示了珠海的一些风土人情。珠海是一个非常美丽的城市，拥有迷人的海岸线、海滩和令人难以置信的圆明园。我和父母玩得非常开心，我的学生也证明了自己是一名出色的导游。我的父母都很喜欢她，尤其是我妈妈。如果我碰巧同时在苏格兰，她会住进我的卧室，而我则会睡在客厅的沙发上，谢谢妈妈！我的父母已经离开中国三个月了，但他们仍然津津乐道的不是我带他们去的旅游景点，而是我妈妈如何想念她在中国的第一晚吃的面条；他们如何想念晚上在便利店喝着红酒看世界的时光；但最主要的是他们如何想念他们遇到的人，总是问他们都好吗，他们在做什么，让我给他们送上最温暖的祝福。

归根结底，我认为这就是在中国生活和旅行必须要吸取的教训，虽然中国有很多东西可以提供，从历史、文化到美丽的风景，但归根结底，中国最重要、最美好的部分是简单的日常活动，但更重要的是人。中国给世界带来的最美好的东西就是她的人民，他们热情好客、善良、慷慨、善解人意。能结识这些了不起的人，我真的感到非常荣幸，我永远感谢能有机会在他们中间生活和工作。

Me and China

NICOL RHONA ANNE

As a single woman from Scotland, moving to any other country would be a daunting experience, but moving half way across the world, away from all my friends and family to a country where I do not speak the language had the potential to be particularly overwhelming.  I secured a job here in China as an English teacher in a university without once ever setting foot on Chinese soil (the Chinese Embassy in Edinburgh not withstanding!) and left my parents at the security gate of Edinburgh Airport with tears, excitement and trepidation.

My introduction to China was a whirlwind of activity.  Due to unforeseen circumstances, I arrived a couple of weeks into the new semester and my classes had been taken by a substitute teacher.  I arrived bleary eyed and exhausted as I had not slept for almost two days, but was introduced into a hive of activity immediately upon arrival.  The College sent two members of staff and a driver to collect me from the airport who greeted me with warmth, kindness and enthusiasm.  On the way to the College, we stopped to get me a Chinese sim card and phone number where I sat feeling disorientated as I was discussed without understanding anything that was happening!  I was subsequently whisked off to College to fill in, what felt like, endless streams of paperwork and then taken to my new home to begin teaching the very next day (thankfully I had written my lesson plans in Scotland!).  

Living in a country not your own always presents challenges, some large and many small.  A change in climate and weather cannot be ignored as you find yourself struggling with weather you have never experienced before.  Especially for me, as a Scot, who is used to the cold, living in the subtropical climate of Guangzhou has definitely proven challenging. The language barrier is an ever-present issue (my fault I know) in life that can only be mediated through translation apps that make me grateful to have moved to this country in the era of smart phones.  But with these challenges, I have been given a true gift that I believe only fellow expatriates fully can empathise with is that the people we meet and the relationships we make are some of our best experiences.

I have been blessed with the friends I have made here both fellow foreigners and Chinese nationals.  I never expected to find and develop such close relationships here in China and yet, as a result of living 10,000km from home, close ties undeniably develop with the people you live and work with.

Travelling and living in China is an incredible experience for anyone, but especially for a foreigner.  So, I want to share a little of my life with you and talk about some of my experiences living in China thus far.

Campus Life

I adore living in a small university town where you know many people by sight and you are embraced as part of the community.  The students are a delight and make every effort to get to know me and allow me to get to know them.  They are enthusiastic, warm, affectionate and kind – it is truly a joy to teach them and interact with them in and out of class.  When I first started, they were shy and unsure of me as, for many of them, I was the first foreigner that they had ever met.  It has been so rewarding and enjoyable to watch them become more comfortable with me and the development of our relationships into something warm and demonstrable of mutual trust and respect.  Nothing makes me happier than when a student feels that they can confide in me or when they know that I want to hear about important things that are happening in their lives because that is when they realise that I genuinely care about them and want them to have everything they want out of life.  They are amazing, kind and talented young people and I cannot wait to see how successful their lives will become.

My colleagues at university, both domestic and foreign, are the best colleagues anyone could dream of having.  One of my favourite times of the day is lunchtime, I eat in the teachers’ canteen every weekday and enjoy conversing with both foreign and Chinese teachers over a leisurely lunch.  Lunch is the perfect time to share ideas and gossip.  I love spending time with the Chinese teachers from the School of Foreign Languages as we work in the same department and we can compare notes on our teaching styles, students, university life and life in general.  What began as a core group of lunch friends, has grown through our lunchtime interactions into true friendships that have quickly developed to be out with the canteen too as we all socialise together outside of work.

It is not only the students and my colleagues who are delightfully welcoming and kind, restaurant owners that work in the town, remember your food preferences and know how to make you feel special and welcome.  Just this week, one of my Chinese friends and colleague told me a restaurant owner had realised I don’t really enjoy eggplant and told him to tell me that he would no longer include it in my favourite dish.  He apologised that he could not tell me himself and asked my friend to let me know that he was sorry he couldn’t talk to me, when in actuality it is my fault that we have communication issues not him! It seems like a small thing, but it shows the level of care and interest he has in making sure I thoroughly enjoy his cooking.  It makes me feel welcomed and creates a sense of home, safety and a feeling of being looked after.  And this is not even an isolated incident, many of the restaurant owners willingly alter their menu to make me happy. Another restaurant, I don’t even need to bother ordering, I just smile at her and she knows immediately what I want and what I want changed!  Language and communication are important aspects of the development of any kind of relationship, however something I have learned here (due to my own ineptitude with the Chinese languages) is humans are capable of communicating and even fostering friendly relationships with each other without the ability to understand the other’s language.  Body language, a smile, shared amusement can often be sufficient to gain tacit understanding between two people and that in itself is a pleasure to encounter.

My Parents Visit Me and China

An issue I have witnessed even from within my own family is the misinterpretation of life in China by people in the West. This was demonstrated in a limited way by my mother. She was emphatic in her objection to me moving to China as she believed it to be unsafe even potentially dangerous. She was still unsure and uncomfortable when I first moved and found difficulty in processing and understanding my joy for my new life here in China. With some trepidation, she decided to visit me for Spring Festival to “see what the fuss was about”… she fell and she fell hard.

Of course, loving China is easy. It is a wonderful country with wonderful people, culture, food, scenery… (I could go on, but I’m mindful of the word count!).  But even with my love for China, I never expected my mum to fall head over heels in love with the country.  True, I knew her views were skewed by western interpretations of China and I knew that by coming here she would learn how great China is and like it here, I just never expected how completely, absolutely and irrevocably her opinion would change.

I thoroughly enjoyed my parents visit to China, especially experiencing seeing China through their eyes.  Seeing their wonder and fascination gave me the opportunity to see China again through a new lens.  On their first day, I took my parents to the local convenience store where I spend a lot of my leisure time in the evenings.  I had told the proprietor in advance that I was bringing my parents to meet her (through a translation app, of course).   It was the first place in China they saw, except the airport and the walk through campus to get to my house to drop of their luggage, and their first proper interaction with a Chinese person.  As soon as we walked through the door, the proprietor grabbed my mum in a warm embrace and I could see my mum’s heart melting then and there.  My mum was overwhelmed by her kindness as she had never expected that people would be so pleased to meet her and welcome her to China.

We sat there at my usual table and I ordered dinner from the restaurant next door.  My mum and da were scared about the food here in China and didn’t think that they would be able to eat well here.  A fear that I understood, as a vegetarian, it can sometimes be a challenge for me to able to find food that I can eat, although it has got better with experience and practice.  I ordered us three portions of noodles with chilli, vegetables and egg and my parents sat waiting practically wringing their hands with nerves.  I don’t think I will ever forget the look on my mum’s face when she put that first mouthful of noodles into her mouth.  Her eyes widened, a look of awe and pleasure slowly sweeping across her face and soon accompanied by a loud moan of pleasure.  They both wolfed down their dinner with exclamations and exultations of its deliciousness - while I completely agree and, if I am honest, I was similar the first time I had tried the same dish – I could not help but watch with some amusement as I recollected their weeks of fretting to me on the phone about the food.

I was determined to show my parents the places that I really enjoy visiting in Guangzhou to help them understand why living here is a true pleasure.  I was on a conversion mission; I wanted my parents to really like it here.  It turned out I didn’t really have to try that hard!  So, what was a true highlight of their holiday?  What excited them and made them realise how great Guangzhou is? Canton Tower? Beijing Road?  One of the many beautiful temples?  No.  A supermarket in Huadu!  It was day three, day two had been quiet as they wanted to rest and adapt to the new time zone, so we had stayed at home and walked around campus where they had oohed and aahed at the campus’ beauty and scenery (a fair response it must be said).  But for day three I decided it was important to get some groceries for their stay, so I ordered a DiDi into Huadu.  To be precise it wasn’t just the supermarket, but also the adjoining shopping centre, at least for my da - the supermarket was enough for my mum!  In Scotland, you would never see a shop selling cars in a shopping centre and my da was completely besotted with the opportunity to look at the cars.  It was his first time ever seeing a Chinese car and he quickly became fast friends with the salesperson and was permitted to examine the car on display in intimate detail (boys and their toys).  When my mum and I managed to drag my da away from his new best friend – not sure if it was the salesperson or the car – I maneuvered them into the supermarket and my mum was suddenly in wonderland.  Neither of them could believe the vast array of fresh fruit and vegetables that were on offer, in Scotland most of our fruit and veg are imported, so we often have a much smaller selection than you would find here.  My mum is a committed mushroom lover and she practically fell into raptures when she saw the many different varieties of mushroom on offer.  This experience taught me, or at least reinforced it for me, that the truly meaningful experiences of living or visiting another country are rarely the big things, but the little things, like how many different mushrooms you can buy, that really shape our perceptions of somewhere new.

Another highlight of my parents’ trip - that was not a trip to the supermarket or a plate of noodles - was when one of my students invited us to her hometown in Zhuhai.  We spent the day with her as she showed us some of what Zhuhai had to offer.  Zhuhai is an incredibly beautiful city with its stunning coastline, beaches and the truly incredible Yuan Ming Palace.  My parents and I enjoyed ourselves immensely and my student proved herself to be an exceptional tour guide.  My parents adored her, my mum especially.  To the extent that my student has an open invitation to stay at my parents’ house should she ever visit Scotland and if I happen to be there at the same time, she gets my bedroom and I will get the sofa in the living room, thanks mum!

My parents have been away from China now for three months and the things they still talk about are not the tourist spots that I took them to, but instead how my mum craves that noodle dish that she had on her first night (and many subsequent nights if we are being honest); how they miss spending the evening at the convenience store and watching the world go by with a glass of red wine; but mostly how they miss the people they met and are always asking how they all are, what they are doing and for me to send them their warmest wishes.  Ultimately, I think that is the lesson that has to be learned about living and travelling here in China, while China has so much to offer from history to culture to beautiful scenery, in the end the most important and best part of China are the simple everyday activities, but, more than anything else, is the people.  The best and most beautiful thing China has to offer the world is her people who are unfailingly welcoming, kind, generous and understanding.  It is truly an honour to meet such amazing people and I am forever grateful for the opportunity to live and work amongst them.